With a soon to be third grader and my baby starting kindergarten in the weeks to come… my anxiety is through the roof. I am trying to remind myself just as my therapist recommends when my anxiety kicks up… “go to the logic, consider the reality of things and just stick to the logic. It will remind you that the majority of the anxiety is stemming from a place where logic does not sit”. The problem is, this time, my logic is what is causing the anxiety.
School is slated to resume in 5 short weeks, 5 very short weeks. Covid is starting to increase again and we are not even to what is considered to be the second waive nor flu season this fall. Children are not exempt from getting Covid and certainly not in passing it along.
There are a number of factors circulating around my mind that has me assessing the risk vs reward of sending my babies back to school this fall. These are just a few.
How, realistically, are these littles going to effectively social distance when there are on average 20 plus kids per classroom? How is my five-year-old, A. going to keep a mask on all day at school and B. not end up lightheaded or with headaches every day. I wear my mask for a quick trip to home depot for some plants and within an hour I have a headache.
To me, elementary schools are a petri dish of germs. Take your pick, the snot, cough, and buggers are a plenty. Will classrooms, halls, and facilities be cleaned every night? It is hard enough to keep my house clean and I only have two littles running around.
One of my greatest concerns, is the lack of knowledge we really have on Covid and most importantly the potential long-term effects. We know that there are a number of individuals who have proven damage to organs because of Covid and we don’t know yet if the damage is reversable. We know that it causes inflammatory responses and in children we have seen Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome. For anyone who has dealt with Chronic Inflammation, I have and still do from my own health issues, it is an incredible struggle and can cause severe long-term damage. I wish this upon no one, and especially not my kids.
God forbid my child be a carrier, and then I have to bare the guilt that my child gave it to someone else or the teacher who is simply just trying to do their job, as daunting of a task that will be with these very significant CDC standards they will have to impose.
Then I flip the logic to the other side. My daughter is a social butterfly just like her mamma. She thrives on social settings and actively engaging with others. She is looking forward to starting kindergarten. And let me be honest here, am I a teacher… no, I certainly am not. In fact, I have a whole new affinity for teachers and just how difficult their jobs are even without these unprecedented circumstances. Will I effectively be able to teach them as well as a professional would, probably not. Also, kids learn from peer settings as well as being able to build social and emotional intelligence. Both critical for their development.
And let us not forget, as a mommy, my own friggin’ sanity. Oy--vey!!! I covet a bathroom break by myself these days let alone transitioning our home into a classroom again.
I spoke with the superintendent of my district the other day and thankfully she was candid with me and said that she fully anticipates that the schools will have to shut down again and go to an eLearning stance at some point anyway this upcoming year. So, my logic is asking… is it worth sending my littles for what three to four weeks of on campus schooling when they will transition to eLearning anyway? Is it worth that risk and exposing them?
Our district has yet to fully divulge the upcoming fall plans. I have yet to even come to a conclusion on where I stand as I try to weigh out the options. And I live in a two-parent household, my husband gets a say here as well.
My gut is telling me one thing, my heart is telling me another, and my mind is shifting back and forth. I suppose for now, I sit…I wait…and I try not to let this anxiety take hold too much.
I’ll keep it to the logic. The final options have yet to be laid out before me and I do not need to make a decision today. Besides, although five short weeks, soooo very much can change between now and then. With Covid, plans seem to be a thing of the past anyway.
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