Scars come in all different shapes and sizes. And you can get a scar for a number of different reasons; burns, cuts, scrapes, stabs and jabs, and even a little poke or two.
The injury when fresh is painful, it bleeds most of the time, and you can almost always see it. If it is too large or deep enough a gaudy bandage will be placed over it showing everyone that a wound is present underneath. Once it begins to heal it scabs over, produces a bump or redness still visible to anyone looking in. But once it heals, in most cases unless you look closely or know that it was there to begin with, one would never know it ever existed and especially the story behind it. There are those instances where the cut was just too deep and the scar too great to cover up. No matter how hard one tries, even if they think they have perfected the art of covering it up, at some point, someone will notice it and wonder what happened.
From a societal point of view a scar is an abrasion on the skin somewhere, specifically from a wound of sorts. But we negate the far greater scar from a wound, one that either stains or scars the heart. The center of the soul working in direct relationship with our brains.
If we think about it, depression is pain or scars from the past. Anxiety is fear of the future and in most cases because of pain or scars from our past.
No matter how hard our brains try to forget about trauma or forget about that scar, our subconscious will not allow us. It is forever imprinted there reminding us that fear is a real thing because to some people, bad things have happened to them proving that bad people and bad things do exist. The scar is a reminder that humans are just that, humans, and not all of us are good. Or even still, not all of us lead with love instead and selfish patterns show up to show out and hurt those who love us most.
I have anxiety because I have had some really bad things happen to me proving that bad people exist, and that has made my mind think and feel that I deserve it somehow or that I am special in the wrong kind of way, leaving me as a target. I am a 39-year-old woman who is afraid of the dark and that’s because that’s where the shadows live.
A scar to the heart is damaging, the extent depends on the trauma, but the scar no matter what remains, no matter the size or shape. Even a little scar in some way, forever changes the heart. Now new and different from what it once was.
I know someone who is going through a divorce, in fact she heard the words from someone she loved for decades tell her three times, that he wanted a divorce and no longer chose to be with her. That is a scar. It is three in fact. Probably now fused into one giant gaping wound that will take years to heal. Think about it. The simple words, so damaging. Even had they stayed together; those words can never be taken back. That scar will forever be imprinted on your heart and in the back of your mind. Some live in the day to day and ignorance on some level, so once those words are spoken, ‘I just don’t love you anymore, I want a divorce’, suddenly breaks the vision of ‘forever’ and ‘no-matter-what’. Because those words simply debunk those words spoken in a vow long ago.
I know someone who has lost a child. That scar is unbearable to even think about for me. I cry as I write this even. Her heart forever broken, because I imagine that wound is far too deep to ever truly heal and even scar over. With every birthday that passes that gash probably rips wide open again leaving her a shell of the once woman she was before that unbearable loss.
I know someone who has tried time and time again to be what he considers ‘successful’ in life. With failed attempt after failed attempt, leaving him with self-doubt and inner criticism paralyzing him to try again and take it to the finish line.
I know a girl who was bullied as a kid and thanked me twenty years later for saying some kind words I don’t even really remember because I never knew her story or her pain. Those scars of other shitty kids forever imprinted on her heart and her subconscious.
Life leaves scars. Wounds that will forever change you. But those scars never have to define you, even though they are a part of you. Let them be a part of you, of your story. They are after all imprinted on you and your mind. But those scars of the heart can teach you some very valuable things in life. They can teach you that you hurt because you once were able to love. They can show you that even though that scar reminds you of evil, there is still so much good to experience. They can remind you of self-doubt that once crept in and simply give you the courage to change how you view yourself going forward. Because although a scar is present, it was in most cases an experience, and one from the past. It does not have to define your future.
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