“Let’s talk aaabouut Ther-a-py…Let’s talk about you and me…Let’s talk abouuut all the good things and the bad things that may be…. Let’s talk about it” Yeah, that’s right I sang that to the beat of some good old Salt-N-Pepa’s ‘Let’s talk about sex’.
The song ‘Let’s talk about sex’, you know the chorus it has a serious ring to it. But sex in general, societally speaking, has the stigma that it is something that should be all hush hush and seems to have a negative connotation to it, yet we see it everywhere and of course the adage ‘Sex sells’ in marketing. But to talk about it? It seems society suggests that sex is supposed to be private and can even have a shamefulness to it and that it is in someway bad. Sex is awesome when consented and can be life changing and relationship changing. It can bring people together; it can tear them apart. It can relieve a tremendous amount of stress and can also bring about a whole heap of baggage. Overall though, sex is critical to a healthy marriage in most cases, not all, but most.
From a health perspective; it can lower blood pressure, improve your immune system, provide better heart health including the possibility of lower risk of heart disease, improve self-esteem, decrease depression and anxiety, increase libido, provide immediate natural pain relief, provide better sleep, and provide overall stress reduction both physically and emotionally. So, yeah…I am a fan and perhaps maybe you should be too. Disclaimer, I don’t think you should just go out and sleep with the first thing walking… but if in a healthy relationship, consider me an advocate for some good old love making.
Something else I am an advocate for, therapy. It too has a stigma that follows it. Similar to sex, it is thought to be something shameful, private and/or hush-hush. Like when someone says that they are going to therapy, that clearly something is wrong with them and that they might have a mental disorder of sorts. Some even place weakness around the idea of therapy, that if you have to go to a therapist to talk out your issues or problems that you must be too weak to manage them on your own. I one hundred percent disagree with this.
I go to therapy, often. It has sometimes been the hardest thing I have ever done. It has been difficult, gut wrenching, and downright scary. I have had to force myself out of my car to walk into a building to talk with someone I didn’t even know, about some of my deepest, darkest secrets. Daunting, I know. I have shed tears, puffy faced, red eyes, and some pretty extreme sobs. I have walked out of therapy with my head circling around and around and my emotions as somber as can be. But I have always found the day after, or in most cases that day, the longer I go to therapy, I feel what can seem like a thousand pounds lighter. Like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders that I wasn’t even aware I was carrying around. I have changed to. My self-acceptance has improved and for whatever reason, when I say certain things out loud to my therapist it really helps put things into perspective. Like, damn, why do I do that to myself? Or I am pretty damn awesome for all that I have gone through and to still be standing. It has helped me to not be so hard on myself and to trust my own emotions and thoughts. It has been relieving, uplifting and at times joyful and empowering.
Similar to sex, it too has a slew of benefits listed. It promotes healthier forms of communication; improves one’s ability to connect with others; helps to manage depression and anxiety; can improve self-awareness and level of patience one has with others and themselves; it can help to improve relationships; and it can make you more deliberate and intentional. Therapy can also have physical impacts as well. It has been known to help reduce headaches and migraines; help digestive issues; improve sleep; and promote a healthy appetite to aid in eating issues. It can help to increase your immune system; promote better sleep and aid in insomnia; soothe an overactive nervous system; improve fibromyalgia symptoms; it can reduce the risk of stroke, diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis; and it can reduce inflammation and blood pressure in the body. And I am sure there are more benefits to mention, and I am sure studies on the impact of Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are out there as well. Just do a quick Google search… that’s how I found all this.
Therapy is hard but therapy is beneficial. Therapy is just like getting your flu shot and going to your primary care doctor. I think it is just as essential.
I, however, didn’t start therapy until roughly two years ago. And I regret that. I dealt with pain on my own and I pushed down some pretty serious stuff simply to not have to deal with it. Come to find that by doing so, all I did was delay the inevitable and delay my healing process. And I am a hypocrite. I too didn’t think I needed it or that it was somehow weak to think I needed it. I was also scared of what I would uncover, but that’s another story all together. I now look forward to therapy and even sometimes the mundane update of our biweekly sessions. I enjoy it just the same if it is lighthearted and upbeat than going deep and find it in most cases just as therapeutic.
Therapy can also come in many different shapes and sizes just like relationships and, well, humans in general. I go to my husband often and find our conversations to be just as beneficial as therapy. Same can be said about some of my Besties, Aunties and Sister. But I will say, therapy has helped me to better open up and truly express myself with those mentioned. Now I have all of the above outlets and I know I am far better for it.
Bottom line, the ability to talk with someone trusted is critical in life. The ability to express yourself, your sorrows, your fears and worries is critical not just to life but to a healthy life. It doesn’t have to be a therapist; it could be a friend, but it does help to have a professional in your corner every now and then. And therapy in any form it comes, should be celebrated not diminished, down played, or shamed. So, let’s condition ourselves and our society to celebrate talking it out and begin the conversation.
So, let’s talk abouuut ther-a-py…let’s talk you and me…let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that can be…
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