Man, there is too much these days that is just plain hard. Covid is ramping back up. Grocery shopping is even increased in difficulty, having to wear a mask and worse those who insist on not wearing a mask. People are out of work. Essential Workers are maxed out and exhausted. We have to think twice before having any social interactions and if we do meet up, it is always in the back of your mind. We have to think twice before a much-needed hug or high five. The risk verses reward is a constant thought running through my head. As a nation, we are divided. We have fellow American’s who endure prejudices and hatred from fellow Americans’ that they don’t even know. Everything seems to be political. I mean…we even have Murder Hornet’s! Like what in the actual flip is going on. What’s next… Zombies!!
With so much that is ‘hard’ these days, I don’t want to be yet something else to add to the list. I want to be the opposite. I want to be the breath of fresh air. For those of you who are just plain easy in my life right now, I am so grateful and thankful for you. Like… “Thank you!!! Thank you for being easy and just… chill. Thank you for giving me the relief I need in this super crazy and stressful time.”
You know who you are…you’re the one’s that it is not work at all to be around, to connect with, and even just make simple plans. You go with the flow; your actions match your words and you don’t impose your religious or political beliefs on me nor let it drive our every conversation. You allow me to be me, in every facet and guess what, still love me for it.
You are chill. Making plans is a breeze because you really just want to hang out. You usually either provide ideas on how to connect or hang out or you usually respond with a ‘sweet that works for me’. It’s just easy.
You connect with me regularly, it’s not always me as the one who reaches out. I can feel the love in return because you reach out to me just as much, showing through your actions that you too think of me. It’s not just one sided.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem being the one to reach out, and I certainly don’t get offended having to leave a message or two, but you know what I’m talking about. When it has been time and time again you reach out, you call, you message, you invite…and very little in return. It stings a bit. Perhaps unintentional, but it still doesn’t make it ‘easy’. Trust me, I am usually pretty chill and cool with relationships that aren’t in your face. I have some friends I literally talk to maybe 4 times a year. But I don’t feel like it isn’t easy, we live far from one another and whatever it is about the relationship is seems equal. It’s not a ghosting. It’s not always just me reaching out. And I cherish those relationships.
I have some relationships where it tends to be a bit draining. Like it is always Debbie Downer (apologies if your names, Deb). Or worse, you can’t even put your finger on it but every time you get together you find yourself stressed. Not cause of an argument or any particular reason really, just that the vibe that person exudes is tiring, it’s negative, or it’s filtered with a layer of stress. Or so much worse, selfish and conceited. Or, full of self-consciousness that needs to be filled and gratified by those they hang out with rather than fulfilling themselves with confidence they need. No judgement here, I too should be convicted of this crime. I continue to work on building myself worth in my eyes rather than needing it from others. So, you are not alone in this in the slightest.
I like a deep convo just like the next girl and even more having the opportunity to ‘be there’ for my peeps when they need a bitch fest or to just let somethings out. In fact, I want to be that person. And I hope that I am in most cases. But I know some people who when you are trying to vent somehow turn the convo to be about them. Or even, when you are in a moment of pain, they are a ‘know it all’ and offer up unsolicited advice when that is the last thing you are looking for. On the real, I have been this person also, I know it and I hate this part of my personality. Just because I have experience or even a solution, there are plenty of occasions I should keep that ‘ish’ to myself. Sometimes, someone just wants an ear, a gentle, open ear.
I want to be light and sunshine…and yes…all of that other hippy shit. That good mood, good vibes, yet real kind of person. I want to laugh and joke and be the person who brings you up not consistently wearing you down. I want to listen and not talk just to hear myself talk.
I want to leave a good mood behind whenever possible. Or at the very least, having the feeling like I was there for them and they feel just a little bit less alone.
So many things in life right now that are hard; emotionally, physically, and socially. I don’t want to be yet something else to add to the list. I want to be the friend with a big heart…giving and kind. I want to be someone who is trustworthy and unjudgmental. Someone others can confide in and someone you never have to question my love for you because you feel it.
I want to be easy…easy to hang out with, easy to chill, and easy to love.
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