The other day, my daughter wakes up and says, “Mommy, I miss the Daddy Daughter Dance.” Sniff…sniff, and a tear later, “and I really just want to go on another date with daddy.”
I so wanted to say, “Girl, I get it, me too!” The last 6 months has been a whole lot of family time which is so great, but I realized I have been with both my kids every day for six months and with almost no alone time. My husband and I haven’t had but one date night which was really just dinner without the kiddos. And I haven’t had the opportunity to spend some one on one quality time with my kids. The majority of the time it has been the three of us together sharing attention with Daddy time once he is home from work.
The grand scheme of things… this is awesome for sure. It has helped to slow down and remind me of the true importance of life and what is really worth my time. But I also realize the importance of some one on one time.
After a cuddle and some quick thinking, I told my daughter… “then let’s have a date night tonight. You and your daddy can have a date night and me and your brother will have a date night. And, to get ready, dress up an all, you and I can have a spa day!”. I received the biggest slap happy grin from my daughter that no matter the prep needed to make this happen…#worthit!
It really didn’t take much. My daughter and I had our little spa day in my bedroom, smooth jazz playing in the background. We took a shower together, put on organic honey facemasks, popped on a couple of cucumbers over our eyes and just had a mommy / daughter moment. It was perfect. Cost me nothing and allowed us girls to be that…just girls. We then did each other’s hair and a dab of makeup (lipstick for my little and a pretty bow in her hair) and got ready for our big dates. The time with my daughter was precious and there is nothing I would have rather done instead. It was so nice to have the one on one time with no distraction or interruptions, just me and my daughter. The two hours it took was all that was needed to help add a nice little bonding moment for us. And get this, my husband and son played video games together during this time and had their guy time.
Then I cooked dinner, per usual, and set the table using old thanksgiving napkins and Christmas décor to fancy it up. That also only took a whopping 2 minutes to create. And although set at the same dinner table, one side my daughter said was ‘McDonalds’ for her and daddy’s date and the other, ‘Chick-fil-a’ for my date with my son. (Clearly, we take our kids to some fancy restaurants) And although two different restaurants, we all had chicken, brussels sprouts, and sweet potato fries, quite peculiar huh.
My son and I had our dinner date while my hubby and his little princess had theirs at the other end of the table. After, we separated, and my son and I continued our date on the couch and watched a movie with popcorn just he and I. My daughter and hubs went upstairs to do the same. Towards the end of me and my son’s movie my daughter came down, her movie with daddy was over. Almost immediately, my son started to get upset and said, ‘but my mommy time isn’t over, and I just want to finish the date with mommy!’ I didn’t realize until this very moment that my son too without knowing it craved some one on one time with his mommy where I didn’t focus on anything other than him. I didn’t realize just how important that one on one facetime actually is and how universal it is for every relationship. So very important for me and my daughter, for my daughter and her daddy, for me and my son, and the obvious me and my hubs. But it even reaches beyond that. I recently had some one on one time with my sister and again didn’t realize how I craved it, and with my own mom and my dad, and my friends. A much-needed invigoration to a friendship is a simple dinner date, a walk, or if you’re lucky a girlfriend get-away for a night or two. I had one of those with my bestie of over 24 years this past year to San Antonio and it was exactly what the doctor ordered, a full 48 hours kid free and just us girls sharing drinks, laughter, and some silly time together. And never underestimate how critical a little alone time is for your sanity, a one hour walk by your lonesome can do wonders.
My point is, don’t let this time, where we are stuck together go to waist. Find and create the opportunity for something simple yet very effective and get you some dates. Some day-dates, some at home spa dates, a walking date, or a dinner date and then revel in the special feeling it gives you and those you love.
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