I had the opportunity to get away for just a couple days with the hubs this past weekend. Yeah, it was everything you think it was and then some; glorious, sexy, rainy cloudy days cuddled up by the fireplace, dinner when we wanted – late and without interruptions, slept till whenever followed by more morning uninterrupted cuddles – the good kind if you know what I mean…bow-chick-a-bowwow…hehe, no “go lock the door so the kids don’t pop in” or having to muffle the noise, a bit of ‘Netflix and chill’ all of course widely inappropriate R rated movies, and I actually had the chance to pop on some heels for the first time to dinner in literal months. Like I said, glorious.
It was brief, only three nights but it was our ten-year anniversary and with Covid we weren’t too keen on returning to our honeymoon spot as planned. Riviera Maya was not in the cards this year. We opted for a short distance, less than two hours from Chicago, so we could bounce back in no time if the kiddos or the rents needed us to return. We opted for Lake Geneva, and it was pretty cool, not Mexico, but exactly what fit the circumstances.
One thing since the littles have gotten older is the lack of concentrated conversations my husband and I are able to have. Realistically, it is either interrupted a thousand times or the topics tend to be logistical and mostly surrounding the kids. It is rare we get to just dive completely into one another and not have our attentions pulled away. It sucks because, when I am giving my husband my full attention it is usually short lived since one or both of my littles tend to interrupt. And never mind what that is like when it is over the phone during my hubs commute home from work. He is usually interrupted mid-sentence with a “Absolutely not!!! We do NOT yank things out of someone’s hands!” or “Hey…Hey…hey…it is okay…we absolutely share in this house” or even better “ahhhhh, baby…it’s okay…I’m sorry you got a booboo” followed by whales from one of my littles. Then I get to try to dive back into the conversation, struggling to remember where we left off.
This little jaunt to Lake Geneva, had none of that. So again, glorious.
Although filled with laughs, giggles, sexy time, and some much-needed rest, my favorite time of the three days was our anniversary dinner. Great food, check. Even better wine, check. But the convo was everything. Not only was it a four-hour dinner, yes, I said 4 hours. But it was so therapeutic. Weird to say, right…but actually no. I go to therapy roughly once every two weeks and sometimes once a week. I get so much out of therapy. It is sometimes cleansing, provides a sense of relief, lightens the burden, and even at times makes me feel I have lost a good thousand pounds I hadn’t even know I was carrying. This dinner was all of those things. We, of course, were light and fluffy for the first half of dinner but then got deep, real deep. It was so refreshing to allow myself to be utterly vulnerable with someone I love so deeply.
To allow myself to let him see me so transparent, the uncut version so to speak, was so therapeutic. We went deep and into some dark places but because I was able to be so authentic and vulnerable with someone I love so much, those deep, dark places became light and airy. He saw me, the itty-shitty bits and loved me anyway. That reiteration in his action reinvigorated my love more deeply than the whole of the weekend combined. He loves me, shitty bits included.
I will probably never stop going to therapy, I need it and it makes me better. But that deep dark convo was more therapeutic for me than months of therapy. To let someone who loves you truly see you, scars and all, can help to heal, help grow the relationship, and even lighten your step just a bit. If you can’t get away for a weekend, or even find a two-hour window for a date night out to dinner, I highly recommend a real convo snuggled up in bed after the kids go to bed over any movie out there. You will be surprised what that will do for your connection and your sanity. You don’t need it every night but every now and again… make the time and create the space. And taking from my experience, it can be exactly what the doctor ordered and simply… glorious.
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