My site name has so many important meanings to me, obviously my little loves and that I get to be their mom, but another reason for My Two Sparrows has to do with having a nest.
In Wikipedia a nest is described as “a structure built by certain animals to hold eggs, offspring, and occasionally, the animal itself” and Dictionary.com describes it as “…any protected place used by a bird.”
My site is a way to help build my nest and build a nest for a community of support, love, and a way to share the joys and struggles of life. I am blessed to have the nest of support that I do, and my tribe is strong, strong enough to help support me and my family.
I have come to the realization that my Aunties are my best friends. I never saw that happening but over the last few years I have really, really grown up and realized that I confide and call my two very specific Aunts first in most cases. (I love you Auntie Gay and Auntie Brenda!!) When I am feeling lonely, or sad, or need advice or need a friend, I call them. And almost always, they are there for me. I can rely on them. I saw something today, a quote, by who knows, but so wise. “Some talk to you in their free time, and some free their time to talk to you.” That is who my Aunts are to me. It becomes clear who is in your corner when you can feel their presence even when they live far away. I honestly do not know what I would do without them. There have been so many occasions where having them to rely on, has either driven my success or helped dig me out of sadness. I don’t feel like they are silently routing for my failure, or they are jealous, or they are guiding me solely on the surface. I know they love me and care whole heartedly for my well-being. They are my cheerleaders, my confidants, and my best friends.
I hope to be that for my nieces, nephews and best friends’ daughters someday.
I think of my two older nieces and just how much I love them. Such beautiful young ladies. Truly, stunning and smart, and funny, and talented. For their entire lives I have lived minimally 4 hours from them or more. I have regrets though. I can blame the distance; I can blame my age difference from my sister and how I was young when they were born. But really, I am solely responsible for the level of relationship we have. I know they love me and respect me. I know they know I love them. But I did not develop the relationship with them I wished I would have, and those relationships take years to build and most importantly time. I made sure to love on them when I saw them and made a point to see them at least a couple times a year, but I didn’t call them regularly. We didn’t have facetime so that didn’t help but it was still my responsibility to reach out to them individually and regularly to ensure they knew I was thinking of them. Now they are young women and I am not so sure if I am a confidant for them or someone they can call when they are confused or lonely or hurting. I wish I was.
Now I can look to my youngest nieces and nephews and learn from my mistakes and build that foundation that is so incredibly important and be the ‘Auntie’ I know I want to be. I don’t believe in the phrase “it is too late”. A simple decision to change is all it takes in most cases and a bit of perseverance.
I will work to build that relationship with my older nieces and find that when they are in their late 30’s it is I who is standing in the same role my Aunties are for me. I can look to my ‘Auntie’ status to my best friends’ kids and my younger nieces and nephews and make sure that foundation is strong. If they are reading this, I love you just as you are and always will. I will be in your corner. I will always put your well-being first and foremost. And I will guide you the very best I know how just as I do for my own daughter. And if you have not felt that way before, please know I am going to work hard to build that with you because I love you. I will be your cheerleader, your confidant when you need, and one of your best friends if you will allow me.
It truly takes the love of many to help raise a child. The love of one is necessary but the love of many ensures success. It ensures a well-rounded woman, multi-layered points of view, and someone who is open and willing to see the perspectives of others to help guide her. The guidance of many women, different ages, different races, and different experiences guarantees that my daughter and myself included will never miss a beat, for there is a good chance at least one in the tribe sitting in the nest with us has experienced something we are sure to face.
For it takes a village. Not just a mother. Not just a father. It takes all of us to unite, Aunties, Family and Community. Today’s world is far too crazy to have to do this alone.
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